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Welcoming a New Brother or Sister Through Adoption, by Arleta James
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Adoption is a big step which can change the whole dynamics of the family. It is crucial that parents understand the impact it has when new sibling relationships are forged and an adoptee becomes a part of the family.
Welcoming a New Brother or Sister through Adoption is a comprehensive yet accessible guide that describes the adoption process and the impact of adoption on every member of the family, including the adopted child. It prepares families to have realistic expectations and equips them with knowledge to deal with a host of situations that may arise, addressing difficult questions head-on: 'Did we make the right choice by adopting?', 'How is this affecting our 'typical' children?', 'Will our adopted son or daughter heal?' are explored and solutions discussed in detail. All this is accompanied with real life stories and direct quotes from children, which make it a realistic and insightful resource.
This book is vital reading for adoptive families and professionals who work with them including social workers, counselors and psychologists.
- Sales Rank: #1060825 in Books
- Brand: Brand: Jessica Kingsley Pub
- Published on: 2013-04-28
- Released on: 2013-04-28
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.02" h x .76" w x 5.98" l, .0 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 338 pages
- Used Book in Good Condition
Review
Don t be fooled by the title! Yes, this book is about brothers and sisters but it is also a most comprehensive look at adoption. The title could just as easily be Realistic Expectations About Adoption, hearing the stories of all members of the family. It explores pre and post-adoption as well as the psychological time-line of moving from immobilization to mobilization, and it includes many resources that would benefit all members of the adoptive family. Being comprehensive, it explores strengths and weaknesses, joys and challenges, moms and dads, brothers and sisters. This book should be an important guide for assisting families in making their ongoing journey of adoption.
Dan Hughes, Ph.D.
Therapist and speaker
Author of Building the Bonds of Attachment: Awakening Love in Deeply Troubled Children, Attachment-focused Family Therapy, and Facilitating Developmental Attachment: The Road to Emotional Recovery and Behavioral Change in Foster and Adopted Children
Pennsylvania --Advance Reader/Reviewer
What a courageous treatment of the issues in adoption. Arleta James dares to talk about the day the family becomes immobilized-that dark secret in child welfare that only the families themselves have, in the past, seemed capable of acknowledging openly. After walking with the reader through those depleting and terrifying days, she takes us to re-mobilization and renewal. She gets us to the place that families want to be, without overlooking the excruciatingly tough middle part.
Michael Trout, Director
Infant-Parent Institute
Champaign, IL
Don t let the title of this book fool you! Arleta James has written a book not just about Brothers and Sisters in Adoption, but about the dynamics of any family formed by adoption. This approach to how a child s past influences his blending into family dynamics is comprehensive, yet not bogged down with academic details. Examples from Arleta s work as an attachment therapist are interwoven into the narrative to enrich this thorough, yet fast read. If you are working with families as they start the adoption process, put this at the top of the reading list. If you are a family seeking to grow through adoption, read this now, then again and again. If your family was formed through adoption years ago, this book will help you navigate the challenges of growing together as a family. This is an important tool for all who work in adoption to have at the forefront of one s professional and personal library.
Deborah Borchers, MD
International Adoption Pediatrician
and Adoptive Parent
Cincinnati --Advance Readers/Reviewers
Therapist James, who has many years of experience as an adoption professional, presents a superb, exhaustive handbook on adoption that fills a void in the literature. She focuses on issues surrounding families, with children who are flourishing, considering adopting children who have experienced complex trauma, including abuse, neglect, or abandonment. She delves deeply into the mental health issues of these children, which can be complicated by the existence of other adopted children. She concentrates on navigating the emotionally trying dynamics of the relationships among children who are thriving and those who are struggling, underscoring the needs of the typically developing children. Throughout the book, James includes stories of the adoptive families she has helped in her sessions. Numerous additional appendixes include a super preadoptive training model for typically developing children, an adoptive family safety contract, and an extensive listing of additional resources. This scholarly review of the adoptive literature combined with solid, pragmatic, and professional advice is a superb guide to a specialized topic. Required reading for all helping professionals working with child pro --Library Journal 2/15/2009
James has produced an extremely practical, theoretically based book which will have many parents laughing and sometimes, crying...Whether you are interested in pre-placement issues, post-placement concerns, disruption/dissolution, sexual acting out, blending siblings, or marital stress, Welcoming a New Brother or Sister Through Adoption will have something to offer you...I believe that every adoptive family will be better able to deal with difficulties that their children and family may be experiencing. Adoption agencies should consider making this book mandatory reading as a component of their pre-placement training program, and anyone who works with adoptive families will appreciate the deep insight that Arleta James has shared with us. --from the Foreword by Gregory C. Keck
Review
James has produced an extremely practical, theoretically based book which will have many parents laughing and sometimes, crying...Whether you are interested in pre-placement issues, post-placement concerns, disruption/dissolution, sexual acting out, blending siblings, or marital stress, Welcoming a New Brother or Sister Through Adoption will have something to offer you...I believe that every adoptive family will be better able to deal with difficulties that their children and family may be experiencing. Adoption agencies should consider making this book mandatory reading as a component of their pre-placement training program, and anyone who works with adoptive families will appreciate the deep insight that Arleta James has shared with us. (Extracted from the foreword by Gregory C. Keck)
This book is written by an adoption professional... The book mainly focuses on integrating traumatised children into families that typically have children already, whether birth, adopted or step. The book covers all aspects of the needs of traumatised children and their behaviour, as well as lots of parenting advice and help. I especially liked the case studies... I found it incredibly informative. (Side by Side)
About the Author
Arleta James, MS, PCC, has been an adoption professional for many years. She spent several years as a caseworker for the Pennsylvania Statewide Adoption Network placing foster children with adoptive families and then as the statewide Matching Specialist. She now works as a clinical therapist at the renowned Attachment and Bonding Center of Ohio, USA, providing services for attachment difficulties, childhood trauma and issues related to adoption. She was the 1999 Pennsylvania Adoption Professional of the Year.
Most helpful customer reviews
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
A wonderful guide to family dynamics in adoption
By Adoptions From The Heart
Arleta James has written a book about the dynamics of families formed by adoption. Whether you are interested in pre-placement issues, post-placement concerns, disruption/dissolution, sexual acting out, blending siblings, or marital stress, this book will have something to offer. James focuses on how a child's past influences his blending into the family in a comprehensive, way that is not bogged down with academic details and big complicated vocabulary. Throughout the book, James includes stories of the adoptive families she has helped, giving real life examples and real life hope. A fabulous book to help families navigate the ups and downs and ins and outs of weaving together a family through adoption.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
a book that addresses the whole family (and how adoption changes the dynamics)
By Tammia
This book provides an honest, sensitive, common-sense approach to how to juggle all the new family dynamics when a traumatized child enters the family. It is clear that Arleta has much experience with this topic and answers many questions I had been searching for as both an adoptive mother and a sibling of adoptees. Everyone is affected by the adoptee's hurting heart...even siblings (no matter their age) and this is the first book I've read that gives practical advice on how to meet so many complex needs. After completing this book, I felt validated and understood (with new courage and motivation). Excellent book, thank you.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
IT SHOULD BE MANDATORY TO READ BY ALL WITHIN THE ADOPTION WORLD.
By Danyel M Rieth
This book is everything you could, should, and would want to know about the pre- and post- adoption family dynamics. I, like many others, have a library of books on all aspects of adoption, trauma, early brain development and theraputic parenting. You might be wondering what else can you hear or read... how about the TRUTH!!! This book tells you all the heartfelt FACTS of traumatized children; EXPECTATIONS that are unrealistic and often unattainable; REALIZATIONS of a new normal; the true FEELINGS experienced, hidden and told from the voices of all family members.
The TRUTH, is something that Arleta is very well known for. She is straightforward and open, each page representing the integrity and insightfullness that she brings to the world of adoption. Her passion, dedication and tireless effort to educate and comfort are so poginantly evident in each chapter. It is like having her right next to you, telling you everything you need to know about bringing home an adopted child. The good, the bad and the ugly.. but all the absolute truth. This book is filled with an abundance of strategies, skills and tools to use for the betterment of the entire family.
FINALLY a book that tells what(most)adoption agencies and (most)social workers are not telling prespective adoptive parents. From my own personal experience of adopting, no one has even come close to what Arleta has acheived in this masterpeice of artwork. It truly is a mural of words that paints a clear picture of adoptions beautifully complex array of feelings. Allowing us to see into the distorted simplicity of wanting to be accepted and never given up on again, no matter what.
This is unquestionably THE MUST HAVE of 'must have' books about adoption.
Thank You Arleta for such a wonderful gift to the world!
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